It's been 48 days since Jerry left the planet and I am lost without him. As each day passes it seems to get a bit worse. I have no confidence that this is going to last a short period of time. Since it took almost 40 years to get to this point I actually think it could take 40 years to get passed this.
I don't care about eating. I don't care about working. I don't care about laughing. I don't care about crying. I don't care about how I look. I don't care about the time of year. I don't care about people. I don't care about much of anything. I am in a funk. I am in a depression. I am a widow and I miss my husband and my friend.
He may not have talked much but he listened a lot. He may not have been healthy but he was breathing and moving. He may not have been the most intelligent man in the world but he was very smart. He was kind. He was generous. He was loving. He was nice. He was lovable. He loved Jesus and that was the most important part of him.
Jerry grounded me for the past 40 years. When I was flying off the handle he calmed me down. He made sense out of my erratic behavior and my erratic mind. Now I am all over the place in thought and action. I can't seem to find my bearing. He was my North Star. My compass. My grounding rod. Now I am a mess of a woman.
So with this admission all I can do is cry out to the Lord and ask for help!
