Refresh Me Oh Lord

 There are times in life that deplete every ounce of energy we may have.  We are so busy we cannot find even a few minutes to breathe and be still before the Lord.  There are times of life that take everything we have just to get out of bed in the morning.  We haven't slept a wink because our bodies ache and our minds will not stop running us ragged.  There are times of life where it seems nothing will ever resolve itself and the Lord is silent.  We cry out but the answers do not come.

We drag ourselves through each day to only repeat it the next day.  We beg for mercy.  We beg for help.  We beg for one scrap from His table just so we know He is there. 

Where is our Lord during these times?  Did He tell us there would be times of hardship?  Did He tell us we would be persecuted?  Did He tell us life would not be easy?  Yes.  He did.  We just did not really want it and we certainly did not want to expect it, but here it is.  

Jesus spend 40 days in the desert with no food and no water.  How did He do it?  No human can live 40 days without water in a desert.  But He was God, not all human.  He had angels attending to Him.  Something was different for Him.  He had to go through a persecution far greater than anything you or I must ever deal with for we are fully human.  He had to prove He was able to make it through the desert temptations for that one final sacrifice would be the greatest sacrifice of all.  He would have to take the sins of the entire world upon Himself and not give in to the evil one.  Somewhere out in that desert He was refreshed and was able to endure.

You and I are given those times of refreshing when we feel like we cannot take one more step.  We cannot take one more thing without breaking.  The Holy Spirit reminds us He is with us and drops that first drop of refreshment upon us.  He gives us that little spark to tell us He hears us and is for us not against us.  He breathes that small tiny breath of life back into us so that we can go on for one more hour.  He reminds us that the fight is real but so is the reward at the end of it all.  He calms our fears and holds us in His arms of love and reassurance that it will be worth it if we just keep going.  We hear His words of refreshing in our souls.

Jeremiah 31:25 (NIV) - I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.

Proverbs 11:25 (NIV) - A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Acts 3:19 (NKJV) - Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,

Change

Each one of us experience change at one time or another in our lives.  Without change there is no growth.  The changes begin at birth and go for our entire lives.  First it is our physical appearance from a baby, to a child, to a young adult, to an adult and then to an old person.  

Then there are the changes to our minds.  As babies we can do nothing on our own and require a parent to feed us and clothe us.  As we grow we learn to feed ourselves and clothe ourselves. Our minds also change as we learn new things both my experience and by being taught.  We are talk how to talk by our parents and those around us. We go to school and are taught.  All throughout life we learn new things.  Each one of us has the ability to choose to learn more or reject new teachings.  Knowledge and wisdom are before us all throughout life.

There are also the changes that happen as the years move forward.  We move on to new seasons of life.  We find a helpmate and someone to love us as we love them.  We have a family of our own.  We move to our own house.  We find our own jobs.  We live a life of our choosing.  We experience each and every day knowing that change will happen.  For myself, there were many time that changes occurred because of the decisions I made.  I chose to have sex at age 18 and a baby was on the way.  I chose to keep the baby even though my parents advocated for an abortion of that baby.  I chose to marry the father who did not want to get married but was forced by his family to marry me.  I chose to divorce him.  I chose to marry a much kinder man who wanted me and my two children.  I chose to love and forgive him for almost 40 years even when we did have some troubles.

Today I am choosing to live my life as an older, single woman who follows Jesus Christ.  Every day I choose Jesus and study the Bible and his teachings.  I choose to have faith that He was God on earth, that He died on a cross to pay for my sins, and  I choose to believe he rose from the dead and will come again to receive all of us who believe in him into his new kingdom.  I choose to change and become more of a reflection of him to a world where so many have no hope, no faith, no future as far as they can see with their eyes.  I choose to pray for the lost souls, the angry souls, the desperate souls.

Change can be hard but not changing can be worse.  Without change we live and die and nothing changes.  Without change we cannot see the kingdom of heaven and we cannot experience the eternal life promised to us by our Creator, our King, our God.

James 1:17 (NIV) Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

1 Samuel 15:29 (NIV) He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind.”

Matthew 18:3 (NIV) And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Daily Walk

It has been over 1000 days since I became a widow.  Every single day is the same yet every single day is different now.  There is no earthly husband but Jesus has become my Bridegroom.  I speak to him in the morning when I wake.  I speak to him throughout the day.  I speak with him as I close my eyes for sleep.

He speaks back not in audible words but in signs and voices of others.  Whenever I am questioning something if I pay attention the answer comes either through my Bible study, the voices of others I speak with during the day, in something else I read, through a song, through a thought.  There is always an answer.  

When I was working I would spend so much time on everything other that the Lord.  I worked and then I would spend many of the rest of my hours on me.  I have been retired 4 years now.  The first 19 months was a blur with Covid and then watching my husband die.  Now for 33 months I have been trying to figure out my place in the world at the ripe old age of 71 as a single old woman with no family close by.  

It's a different walk these days as I reinvent who I am.  I do not know how to be anything other than a wife, a mother, an employee, a friend, or a neighbor.  There is no instruction manual on living a changed life. It's a day by day experience.  Many days are quiet with no forward movement and no plan.  Some days I wonder who I am.  I wonder what I am doing.  I wonder am I doing anything right?  Is there anyone else as confused as I am?

My daily walk with Jesus Christ is solid.  I know him well and I am so very thankful for that.  I study his word and I sing his praises for all of the wonderful things he has done for me and all that is in my future.  He has taken such good care of me that sometimes I feel guilty for all of his favor and special touches on my life and the lives of my children and grandchildren.  I trust him 1000 percent with everything in my life.  I give all the glory to him for my life and that he walks with me!

Today is July 1 of the year 2025!  I remember the feelings and anticipation of the year 2000!  The world was excited yet fearful of what this new millennium would bring.  Then the Twin Towers were attacked and fell in New York City on September 11, 2001.  It has not gotten better.  In fact each year it seems the world keeps spinning farther out of control.  Hate, selfishness, greed, power, sexual sin, and so much evil has taken over. 

2 Timothy 3:1-5 says; "1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people."

How are we expected to live in a world like this?  We are to trust the Lord and not try to figure out how he will handle this.  We are not to live in fear.  We are to help with what we can help with and not try to make everything right.  We are to witness to the sinner but not think we need to live among them.  We are to live as peaceably as we can in a world filled with evil even as the evil increases.  We are to set our eyes on Jesus and watch for his second coming.  There is nothing we can do to change the world as it draws closer to the end.  We can try to point others to Jesus in hopes they will hear and seek him.  If their heart is filled with darkness and they are not a part of the chosen people they will never hear.  They will never come into the kingdom of God.  It may break our heart that someone we know is not one of the chosen but that is the way it is.  Those who refuse to hear the truth of God is not our responsibility.  Moses tried to talk with Pharoah but Pharoah's heart was hardened.  There was nothing Moses could have done to change what the Father had planned.  Accepting the will of God can sometimes be very hard and confusing for us.

As my days continue to be quiet or busy, as my days continue to seem very different from what I have experienced in the past, I will learn and adjust to what is ahead for me.  I will continue to seek wisdom and knowledge of what the Lord has set in motion for me and for the world.  I will continue to praise him for each and every day he allows me to breathe.  There is no going back to the old ways so I have to trust the new ways are his ways for me.