Guard Your Mind

This morning I need to write about what happened in my dreams last night.  I was attacked and had to fight.  There were monsters all over. Demons coming at me and who I was with.  Every corner, every turn, there was another monster showing up and coming at us.  Again and again the attackers came at us.  Just when I turned a corner and thought they were gone another one of them came at me.  I knew they were trying to kill me but I was able to fight them off.  I don't remember if I had a weapon but I was fighting.  It was a terrible battle and I was getting so very tired but I could not give up or I was dead.  Then I woke up.

In waking everything was so vivid and I began calling on the name of Jesus!  I knew there were evil spirits in my mind and they had been tormenting me in my sleep.  They had been out to kill my peace.  For at least 10 minutes I prayed and said the name of Jesus as my heart quit racing and the faces of the monsters were replaced with the face of Jesus and his angels who set guard over us when we call on Him.  I turned on my audio Bible to the book of Psalms let the verses flood my mind.  Chapter 18 is where I started listening as David cried out to the Lord to fight his battles and to protect him.  If was not a coincidence the Lord started me in that chapter.  I took 15 to 20 minutes before I was calm again and the monsters were fading from my thoughts.  I fell back to sleep with the audio Bible playing the monsters never returned.

As I think about the event this morning, it was terrifying to have it happen but then as I read Psalms 18 this morning I knew in my spirit that God had played that word for me to calm me from the attack of the devil I had experienced. This scripture reaffirmed to me that we are in a world filled with evilness and even those of us who walk closely with the Lord can come under spiritual attacks just as it says in Ephesians 6:12.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

God gives us the way to fight these rulers of the darkness and that is what we are told to do in Ephesians 6:13-18.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 

I have underlined the words, above all, to point out the shield of faith is what was needed to fight the monsters who came into my dreams last night.  As I woke from the fight, the dream, I had the ability to know it was a demonic attack and to go straight to Jesus and His word.  Without faith in the power of Jesus we are open to the demonic attacks here on earth.  It's a daily walk and daily learning how to walk the walk.  Without being in the word of God we cannot be prepared when these attacks come at us.  The blueprint for navigating these battles is right there in scripture for all of us to learn and know.

This morning my devotional only reaffirmed what I already knew but I love the poke from Holy Spirit that I heard correctly. Remember, with God there are no coincidences. 

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. - Romans 8:6

Finding Yourself After Loss

It's a very different life after spending 40 years with one person on a daily basis.  This person could be a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, a close friend but whomever it was they were there and no they are not.  In many cases it is death but divorce, relationship troubles, and long distance moves also takes them away.  Days are not the same when they were there, you enjoyed having them there and now they are gone.  So what do you do now?

It's been almost 11 month since my husband died.  It's still hard to say that, "He died."  For 11 months, on a daily basis, I have missed his face and his voice.  I have missed the noise he made in the house.  I miss washing his clothes.  I miss seeing him sit at the kitchen table or putter around outside on something.  Things are still the same here at home but they are not the same.  He is nowhere to be found but signs of him are everywhere.

It doesn't hurt so bad today.  I don't cry every day.  I don't feel sadness every day.  I keep wondering what my future is going to be now that I am a widow and a single person when I used to be married and a couple.  I just don’t know but I keep getting up every day and do something.  I don't push myself and think I'm going to figure it out today or even tomorrow.  For 11 months I have just kept going, watching the pages of the calendar changing.  I read a lot.  I write a lot.  I talk to family and friends a lot.  I do the household chores.  I think about past, present and future.  I pray and talk with the Lord all the time.  He listens a lot and Holy Spirit speaks back to me with words of encouragement and wisdom.  

Psalms 46:10 (NIV)

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

As I wait on the Lord for whatever the day holds for me I know He keeps moving in my heart and mind to be still and know that He is God.  Nothing I can do today can change what happened yesterday and no amount of thinking and planning will change tomorrow.  He says to trust Him and I do.  He says to commune with Him and I do.  He says to listen to His still small voice and I do.  He says do not fear so I cannot.  He says do not worry so I cannot do that either.  What I can do is pray for those He lays on my heart and mind today and then really pray for them.  Pray protection for them.  Pray health for them.  Pray love for them.  Pray they hear Him and acknowledge He is Lord of ALL.  Not some, but all.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Am I a different person today than I was at this time last year?  Yes, I am. 

Am I going to be a different person at this time next year?  Yes, I am.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  God knows.  He always has a plan and it is always a good plan for those who love Him and are called His children.  My purpose right now is to listen and learn.  To help where I can.  To love others and to keep moving forward until He calls me home to be with Him.  

Matthew 14:31 (NIV)

'Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 

For now, I will be able to find myself as long as I keep my eyes on Him.

Our Calling

 Our Power of Twelve word this month has been from II Peter 1:10-11.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:10-11

Other translations of these scriptures say to be more diligent, work hard, be eager, try harder.  The Lord wants us to each figure out what our calling in this life is.  He wants us to figure it out.  But how do we do that?  For me, I had to have the Holy Spirit reveal it to me after my brain tumor.  I had to admit to myself and others that I had not been walking obediently in what the Lord wanted me to do.  I had resisted Him in certain areas and trudged along in life without seeking out what it was specifically He needed me to do for Him.  I had committed most of my life to Him but not all of my life to Him.  I have to admit, I am selfish and only wanted to do so much even if it was for God.  Dummy me!  So He had to get my attention with a brain tumor.  How sad is that!?  

For the past 5 years I have done much better and I believe I have found what His calling is for me and that is to speak out about encouragement and with encouragement.  To not be afraid to step out and let Him use me for a voice.  I love to talk and I love people so what a better calling than talking and loving?  I know sometimes I don't always choose my words in the perfect way but I am still learning.  

I am still a work in progress and will be until my last breath here on the planet.

We each should want to please Jesus once we become His follower.  We should each want to do what He wants from us and not hide away hoping He won't make us go to a foreign country to preach the gospel to primitive tribes.  It's funny that we many times think He will make us do something we do not want to do.  That is never His way with His people.  Just think about all the patience He had with His chosen people, the Israelites. If anyone bungled it time after time, year after year, it was those people!  His chosen people, the Jewish, are still waiting for their Messiah.  They missed Him when He came  the first time which is so very sad.

Sometimes a calling is inviting a group of women into your home to be a hostess and  a friend.  Sometimes it is working in the Sunday School teaching little children about Jesus.  Sometimes it is baking and taking food to a family in distress.  Sometimes it is giving your money to someone in need.  Sometimes it is as simple as being the one praying for those you know who need prayer for the trials they are going though.  

Callings are what the Holy Spirit lays on your heart to do.  It is never anything you cannot do and is always something you do for Him and for others.  Callings are not about you, they are about others and it begins with a thought, a prompt from the Spirit of God.  A callings is something you can say "yes" to but it is always something you can say "no" to.  It's another one of those free will things.  It's His idea but your choice.  If you don't know what He has called you for just ask him and He will show you.  Don't wait for a brain tumor to pop up late in life when you could have been doing so much more for Him and the people in your life.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Matthew 7:7 (NIV) - Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Proverbs 8:17 (NIV) - I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29 (NIV) -But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Surrender

I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ in 1975.  I did not continually walk in His way and was selfish most of the time.  As the past 48 years have progressed I can honestly say I am not near as selfish as I was back then.  I want to please Him but still fall short just like the scriptures say.  I try time after time to surrender all of my remaining selfish ways but can't seem to get rid of all of me.  My problem is that I have always liked me.  Enough to cause me problems and troubles for my entire life. 

 

Jesus never had one selfish bone in His body.  He was perfect and He still is perfect.  I will never be perfect while I breathe air on this planet.  No matter how much I try or how much I surrender there will always be that one things I can't get passed.  That one little lie.  That one little word about another person.  That one feeling of distrust.  That one memory that pops into my brain and cause me grief and guilt. 

 

I know that surrendering is something we all should do and we do many times with many things.  Of course the ultimate and most important is that surrender to Jesus to admit we are dirty and lowly creatures filled with all that is despicable.  We are worse than the animals that roam the earth because we have the mental ability and the choice to chose to do good and be upright in our actions.  They are animals with only animal tendencies.  But how often do we look just like a wild animal?

 

When we surrender to Jesus the Holy Spirit comes to live with and in us to help guide and teach us.  He is with every single believer in the world today.  Some hear Him.  Some see Him moving.  Some do as He instructs.  Some fight Him.   Even when we fight Him He never leaves us.  He sticks to us like glue whether we want Him to or not.  We can turn our backs and walk away but He continues to follow us wherever we go.  Once He's there, He's there.  Once He's in, He's in.  I am so grateful for His patience and endurance with rebellious me!  I don't want to hurt Him but I am still selfish.

 

The Apostle Paul spoke many time of "missing the mark."  Of not being worthy.  Of letting the flesh rule over him.  I understand this well.  But as the years continue on for me I will continue on for Him.  I will continue to try to surrender all of my selfishness and my icky human ways because of my love for Jesus.  I refuse to quit trying to be a better servant.  A better bride.  A better woman.  A better human being. 

 

Galatians 5:16-18 (NKJV)

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

 

Romans 8:6 (NKJV)

For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

 

James 1:14 (NKJV)

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.

 

Part of our walk with the Lord for decades is to learn His ways.  To follow His teachings and to become more and more an image of our Father.  We will continue to experience failure and feel unworthy to be called His children but He has already made a way for us to receive His forgiveness and mercy.  Do we really think He doesn't know our hearts hurt when we are disobedient?  Did you every experience tears as a child when we knew that Dad found out that we had lied about breaking the vase?  I cried when I knew Dad was going to discipline me for my failure to do as told or hide the truth of what I had done.  Our Heavenly Father does the same.  He wants us to learn, be better and do better. Always.  I will continue to surrender until such a time as I no longer have anything left to surrender and am fully and completely as He made me to be.  Perfect.  At that time I will be looking into His magnificent face!

 

Galatians 6:9 (NKJV)

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

 

Romans 8:1 (NKJV)

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

 

I Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

 

I John 2:17 (NKJV)

And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.

Joy in Chaos

The word for today, from the Lord, is chaos.  I can honestly say that chaos has been very much a part of my life since Jerry died.  I am really not who I thought I was and I am hard time finding out who I am.  The only thing I know for certain is that the Lord Jesus is with me and he keeps pushing me on day by day.  Though I have no idea where he is pushing me to, I know that he wants me to keep moving forward.  Next week will be 10 months of life without Jerry.  I don't feel any farther along in mending than I did 10 months ago when he left.  In fact if I have to admit it, today I feel worse than ever.  My mind and my heart feel no joy.  I feel almost nothing but kind of a numbness.  I can't explain why, just that I don't feel good.

 

I have nothing bad going on.  I am getting ready to head to Colorado for a week and should be excited about that but I'm really not.  It's just another effort to move forward and pretend all is well.  I'm not well and I don't know when I will be well.  I keep hoping that one of these day I will wake up and feel the joy of the Lord in my life.  I will jump out of bed with an excitement for what the day will bring.  For whatever reason there is no excitement for me.  The days drag by one by one. 

 

I know all of this is the process of grieving and mourning a life that is gone.  His and mine are both gone.  What we were is no more.  Husband and wife is no more.  Friend and best friend are no more.  Mate and help mate are no more.  It is a huge change but I truly want to move forward at some point in time.  I just don't know how soon that will happen.  I suppose the more I seek answers the more I will learn about this kind of thing.  It's not like there has never been a widow before me.  It's that this is all new to me.  This is something I have never had to deal with before.  This is chaos and I do not like chaos.  I like things orderly and in a certain way.  I am the woman who loves the ruts she has lived in and does not mind them at all.  Consistency, stability, sameness, is always easy and takes little effort on my part.  I have always liked knowing how I was going to handle a situation rather than have to figure out something new.  But this time I will have to learn or end up going deeper into a world of chaos and grief. 

 

Oh Lord, please don't make me go clear to the bottom of the pit in order to finally look up and see you!

 

Over and over the Bible teaches us how to handle the chaotic situations.  Give them totally and fully to the Lord and praise him for taking it away!  Finding a way to worship and praise in the storm is something you would think I have done before.  I know I have had storms in my life before.  I know I have moved out of the storms and come out with joy in my heart.  I just can't think of any of them right now as this one seems like it is such a huge mountain of chaos and darkness.  I know many others are experiencing the same kind of thing since things on earth are filled with darkness and getting darker.  Many of these people have no faith.  They do not believe is Jesus and his hope and peace.  They do not have anyone to turn to for help.  They are alone.  I am not alone for the Lord is with me. 

 

There may be chaos in my days right now but there is no way this will go on like this forever.  In order to keep my own sanity I will need to find my way out  using the joy of the Lord as my strength.  I refuse to quit and remain like this.  I do not like me when I am like this.  I have been blessed with so much why would I even have these feelings?  Humanity.  It is a curse.  But it is a blessing also since we can find ways to become different and then we can help others who are also experiencing the same kind of chaos in their lives. 

 

I am going to keep trying each day to see beyond the chaos and find the joy for the years ahead.  It has to be there.  It just has to be, since He promised.

 

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Perfect God - Imperfect People

Perfect God - Imperfect People

Sunday, July 02, 2023

2:28 PM

 

I have been feeling low for almost a week now.  Deep in the depth's of grief for the past 9 months have taken a toll on me.  I try to be normal and optimistic when I am around others but here at home the wall do close in on me.  All of the memories are in front of my eyes moment by moment and day by day.  During these times I search for answers such as, who am I now?  What is in my future?  Why am I so hurt?  Why can't I find any joy or dreams for my life?  Why did Jerry mean so much to me when so many times he hurt me deeply?  Am I going crazy?  What do I have to truly be depressed about?

 

There are far more questions than these but finding answers will not come unless I get a grip on why I am thinking all of this.  Did Jerry keep me so grounded for the past 40 years that I am not a person without him to round me out.  When he found me and the kids I was searching and was a scatter brained woman.  I was seeking a new me back then and I was seeking the Lord with all my heart.  I had found a spiritual connection with Jesus through the Holy Spirit and was moving along that path when Jerry came into my life.  He brought wisdom and security into our lives.  He also brought trouble with his addictions and sins.  Over the years I had to forgive him many times for his adulterous ways but in the end he rid his life of those thoughts and turned his life over to Jesus and repented.  So right now, since he is no longer alive have I put him on some kind of pedestal thinking I cannot move forward in life without him?

 

Yes, Jerry changed my life for 40 years.  Yes, he brought smiles and laughter and goodness into my life.  Yes, for the most part, he was a fine and decent husband and father.  He was a good person.  He loved the Lord and did his best to be a good example of Christianity.  I do think in the end he had forgiven himself for the bad things he had done and knew the Lord had forgiven him also.  I believe he had faith to know he was going to be saved when he left planet earth.  So knowing this why am I grieving so much?  Am I grieving him or am I grieving me?

 

Throughout scriptures we read the stories of those who failed.  Those who did not do what the Father asked of them.  Those who chose their own path and way of doing things.  We understand that our God is the only God who knows all things and makes a way in the wilderness of life.  He knew from the beginning when He created us that we would not be able to tow the line and do right. He knew we would go astray and chose our own path and not His.  He knew we would tell Him "No".  But He also had to have known that we would continue to come back to Him and ask for forgiveness and that we would repent from our selfishness.  When the trouble comes we know it is because of what we have done or haven't done.  The Father never punishes His children when they are doing good and acting rightly.  A Father punishes when the child is out of line and acting in a spiteful, hateful, ungracious, unthankful way.  A perfect Father knows when the child is imperfect in thought or deed.

Why can't we be perfect?  Why are we always making such a mess of things and our lives?

 

For 9 months I have been trying to figure out life for me.  I have nothing to worry about yet I worry.  I have everything I need yet I search for something.  I try and try to figure out what tomorrow will bring even though I am told by Jesus to think only on today and that tomorrow may never even come.  I am told to not worry and to not be afraid yet I worry and feel afraid.  What is it with this totally imperfect brain that causes undo concern?  Why is it when scripture says to "lean not on our own understanding" that I think I can figure out the Lord's understanding of my situation right now? 

 

There is nothing I can do today with changes what happened yesterday or what happened 9 months ago or what happened 40 years ago.  God's perfect purpose is what I need to think about.  Everything and every moment His is watching and moving in our lives.  I have breathed air on earth for almost 70 years and to think that a perfect Creator would not have a plan for all 70 of those years is such an ignorant thing to think.  Belief and faith play such a huge part in who we are and what we think about.  If we believe in a Perfect Creator then we must have faith that He knows exactly what the plan is.  Getting depressed about the plan, because I don't know it, is a very misguided way to think. Either He is God or He is not.  If He is God then let Him lead as He sees fit.  Let the days come and go in the way He intends for them to progress.  Don't go thinking that He is not there or does not care, for a Perfect God is there every single minute for those who has chosen and called by name.

 

Hebrews 13:8 (ESV) - Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

 

Isaiah 43:1 (NKJV) - But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.

 

John 1:12 (NKJV) - But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name

 

I John 3:1-2 (NKJV) - Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.

 

Galatians 3:26 (NKJV) - For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

FINDING JOY

Finding Joy

Friday, June 30, 2023

12:25 PM

 

How do you find joy in times of trial and frustration?  In times of sadness and loneliness?  How do you find the inner strength when every day is such an effort to endure?  Why is the joy of the former days so distant and seemingly out of reach? 

 

These are the questions I have been asking myself this week or at least for the past few days.  My mind and my body are not happy.  My heart is sad and my eyes are on the verge of tears every other hour.  I feel sadness about everything right now and I am not sure of the exact cause except for the fact my helpmate, my sweetheart, my best friend, my husband is no longer here on earth to help me find my joy again.  He always figured out a way to make me smile when I was sad.  He could say something that would remind me of all I had to be thankful for.  He knew how to bring me back to the joy of the Lord.  I miss him and his wisdom.  I miss his voice in my ear.  I miss his arms of love when I needed a hug.  It's lonely without him.

 

I could go for a walk on the beach and cry.  I could go for a drive and cry.  I could go shopping for something I do not need and then come home and cry.  I could make phone calls to my family or my friends and cry.  But what good would all of that do besides bring others into my sadness and have them worry about me and my mental stability.  Everyone has their own troubles.  Each one of us has something that troubles us.  Our only hope is in the Lord.

 

In John chapter 15 Jesus spoke these words;

 

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other." - John 15:1-17

 

Without Jesus we have no hope, no joy, no peace, no happiness.  We follow Him and His ways because we want to please Him and be the kind of person who loves others.  Without hope, joy, peace and happiness we are just like those in the world who are lost souls.  This is how they live life every day.  But read these words again. Jesus calls us his friend when we are his followers.  He chose us to follow Him and to hear His words of encouragement to not be like those in the world.  He called us to be different than the hopeless, the joyless, those without peace, those with no happiness.  Wrap your mind around the words spoken by Jesus over two thousand years ago,

 

"I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."

 

God the Son, Jesus Christ, chose you.  He chose me to speak His name and give others a spark of joy, a piece of hope, a word of peace.  Maybe not every day but the days when others around me need to hear these words.  Some days I need to hear these words and no one is here to speak them into me.  But the Holy Spirit is here with me.  He does speak to me.  I do hear Him even when I am sinking in tears of sadness.  He does comfort me with words of love and guidance.  With words of peace and contentment.  Without any condemnation for my feelings, today He encourages me to look forward to tomorrow. 

 

Proverbs 17:22 (NLT) - A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.

 

1 Thessalonians 5:16 (NLT) - Always be joyful.

 

Romans 14:17 (NLT) - For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

 

Isaiah 55:12 (NLT) - You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands!

 

Psalms 126:5 (NLT) - Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.

 

Psalms 9:2 (NLT) - I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

 

Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV) - Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

 

The Holy Spirit meets with us when we are downcast and sad. He comes along side of us and cries with us.  He knows all too well our sadness and why.  He understands everything and holds our tears on His shoulder of strength and compassion.  He is our Comforter, our Advocate to the Father to help us see the wonder and beauty of our lives and those who touch our lives throughout the days and the years.  He leads us out of those valleys of darkness and sadness and puts us back on the path we have been set on by the Father and the Son.  He restores our joy so that we can move forward to the days ahead when we can stand along side one of our family members or friends that is having a sad and joyless day.

 

Acts 13:52 (NKJV) - And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

 

When we have times of sadness, which are pruning times,  we need to remember we are a branch attached to The Vine.  We are chosen by Him to produce fruit and the fruit of the Spirit is;

Galatians 5:22 (NKJV) - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

 

He is with us and encouraging us to come back to the joy of our first love, Jesus Christ Son of God, our King and our Savior!

 

Thinking of Paul and Little Children

There are a couple of things the Holy Spirit has brought to mind this morning that I wanted to get written down.

THOUGHTS ON THE APOSTLE PAUL:  
My first thoughts are about the apostle Paul and the thorn in his side.  In 2 Corinthians 12 he talks about it a bit.  He says he was "given a thorn in his flesh, a messenger of Satan."  A thorn in the flesh is something that would cause him pain or discomfort every day.  All the time.  Neverendingly poking at him.  Constantly on his mind.  

We know that Paul, when he was Saul the Pharisee, he was a thorn to many early Christians.  He caused them much discomfort even to the point of death.  He persecuted them.  But then one day on the road to Damascus, on the way to persecute more Christians, he was stuck down by an intense bright light and Jesus spoke to him.  He was blinded and taken to a house where he suffered while the Holy Spirit fell on him as he had fallen on the Christian people.  It wasn’t till Ananias came and spoke to him that "something like scales fell from his eyes."  He tells the story in Act 9 and Acts 22.

I wonder if the intense bright light and the scales which fell from his eyes caused permanent damage to his eyes, his eyesight?  We know there are scriptures that tell of his poor eyesight.  We know he had trouble with his eyes for the rest of his life.  I wonder if the thorn in his side was his sight, this messenger of Satan, a daily reminder that he could no longer see clearly with his physical eyes and had to rely more on his mind and the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through him.  He would never fully see with his eyes again after that first encounter with Jesus.  He would always be reminded of what he did before he came to know Jesus and his saving grace and mercy.  This could be the thorn in his side that never went away but did not hold him back so much that he would be unable to keep from spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ and the miracles of coming to Him and following Him?  I wonder.

THOUGHTS ABOUT LITTLE CHILDREN:
My next thought is about little children and the Lord's love for them.  Over and over through the Bible little children are adored and loved by the Lord. God the Son, Jesus the Christ, says in Matthew 18:3, that unless we turn from sin and become like little children we will never see the Kingdom of Heaven and that if we lead one of these little children into sin it would be better to have a stone tied around our necks and drowned in the sea!  That is pretty straightforward. It is intense if you really think about it and dwell on it.  Read the word NEVER.  The King James Version says, "ye shall not", which means never, enter the Kingdom of God.

'And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. '
Matthew 18:3

What is it about little children?  He calls us his children.  Father God calls his people his children.  Jesus calls us his family, his children. Children are young and innocent until adults get a hold of them and show them sinful ways.  Adults are their teachers and their leaders. Children live how they are taught and how they are disciplined.  Children are the earliest example of mankind,  made in the image of God here on earth.  They have just left the spiritual realm of God a short time ago.  They were with the Father and then the spark of  life, that first breath of life, was breathed into them. If that tiny baby does not breath they do not live.  They die and the spirit returns to the Father and the tiny body is returned to the dust. Each of these little ones were knit together in the womb of their mother and then when they drew that first breath of life on earth they became a full human being. Before that they had not breathed the air on this earth but were fully and totally connected to the Father, Spirit to spirit.  It took that first breath to put the child physically and spiritually on earth.  When the umbilical cord was cut the baby became an individual, a person, a separated being from the Father.  A human being made in the image of God but now cut from the Spirit of God.  A human being with a free will but a little child needing to be taught the ways of the Father and a lifetime to find a way to restore that spiritual connection that was just cut.  He wants us each to find the way, the truth and the life.  He wants us each to find Him again.

As the little ones grew here on earth that connection of God's Spirit and the spirit of that little child began to separate more.  Each month, each year the spiritual separation widened.  Each year the child learned from the adults and those around who had been in the world for a longer period time.  Some of these people involved in the nurturing of the child did a wonderful job and taught them about God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  Some lead these little children on a path of spiritual destruction. The innocent little child was lead to sin and selfishness which is totally opposite than God, who is loving kindness, mercy and grace.  God will hold the adults accountable for the sins of the little children. The initial plan of God was to have a beautiful relationship with His people and the people were suppose to be following God and leading their children towards God, not away from Him.  An evil one came into the picture a long time ago and is still doing his best to lead every single soul he possibly can away from God.  He has been damned to hell, the burning lake of fire, for a long time but the plan has not been completed yet as God wants each of us to return to Him spiritually.

If we could see the world in spiritual eyes we would see billions of adults walking around with millstones hung around their necks.  God will eventually be drowning them in the sea or the lake of fire for what they have done to the little children.  The only way to cut the rope holding the millstone is to repent and ask for forgiveness from Jesus for causing the little ones to follow after sinful ways and selfishness.  Jesus will forgive those with a truly repentant heart.  

Stubborn or Determined

 

Today has been a day of much contemplation.  Today has been a day to officially let go of the past.  Some one in the past has hurt me and I have let that hurt surface for the last time.  There is no need to go into detail but it took most of the morning,  a long conversation with daughter and a couple of letters written but torn up to come to this point of letting go. Completely.  Fully. Once and for all.  I am determined not to go back to this person in my own heart. With my own tears.  That season of life if over and actually has been over for decades.

This brought me to the next thoughts of how stubborn I am.  I like to think I am determined rather than stubborn.  Stubbornness can be a bad thing.  When we dig in our heels to something and not be the least bit unyielding.  Especially when it is a selfish thing.  Something we do not want to give up or give up on others.  So when I think about my own stubbornness I need to stand back and look at exactly what it is all about.   If I am determined to do this thing, is the blessing of the Lord upon it?  Is it something that will bless the person and the kingdom of God?  Is it worthy determination or plain stubbornness and refusal to give in?  Am I just being stubborn and not wanting to give up out of self gratification? There is a huge difference between selfish stubbornness and Godly determination.

This takes me to how opinionated I am.  Am I opinionated and mouthy or am I opinionated and wise?  Am I choosing wise words to share or merely stating my opinion in another self gratified way? As I have gotten older I have calmed down with the words coming from my mouth.  Not the amount of words, as I still talk a mile a minute, but the words are a bit more hand picked by the Holy Spirit before they come out.  This is another good thing happening to me as the scriptures talk a lot about the tongue.

Proverbs 21:23 (NIV) - Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.

James 1:26 (NIV) - Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) - The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

I Corinthans 13:1 (NV) -  If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Since I have been a firm proponent of "Choose your words wisely" then I need to be very careful how I speak out among others.  Since I am now leading a women's home ministry group I need to speak carefully and thoughtfully.  Since I am older and (should be) wiser than a younger person or a younger believer I need to be using words from the Holy Spirit that edify Him.

Today is a day of good reflection and more of the daily dying we are asked to do as we get closer to our day of redemption.  My past sins have crucified Jesus time and time again and I need to stop doing that to Him.  I love Him with all my heart, mind and soul and do not want my stubbornness to hurt Him or others.  Today I am letting go of some things and ways that needed to be let go of a LONG time ago.  

Called

 Our Power of Twelve word for this month is "called" and the scripture reference is 1 Corinthians 7:20 which says,

"Each person should remain in the life situation to which he was called.

As I first pondered this I was wondering what is the Apostle Paul trying to tell us.  Why did he advise us to stay where we were when we heard Jesus calling out to us to come to him and be saved?  Wouldn't we need to start changing our lives, become better and to do better?  What if we are in a terrible part of our lives when God gets our attention and tell us to leave the world behind and become a part of his kingdom and family?  Why would God want us to stay right there where He found us in our lives of sin?  Didn't God want us out of our world of sin?  Yes.  He does.  But this verse must be read in the context of the entire chapter. Also note the word "should" in this verse.  The King James version (the original version) and the New King James version do not have the word should.  Many other versions say "should".  More about that later.

As I read the entire chapter and did some research I began to understand Paul was addressing the Corinthian church about marriage and sex.  Verses 1 - 16 tells them that only married couples should be having sex and that each one should stay in the marriage even if only one is a believer when that one person is called.  That one believer could be how the other partner can also hear the call to salvation.  Paul then goes on to explain in verse 20 that the one who is called needs to stay right where they are and not leave the life situation they are currently living in.  Just because one has been called to salvation you do not leave your spouse.  They are free to leave, but the believer is not.

In verses 12-14 Paul explain that the believer in the household "sanctifies" the entire household.  The word sanctifies means to be holy.  God's holiness resides upon the entire household because of the faith of the one believer.  God's favor is upon the household of the believer and all who reside there in the family.  The marriage contract is sacred to God and He is the one who wants us to stay with the partner we married no matter what.  The exception to this is adultery.

The word "should" is in this translation but when looking at the original translation the scripture says,

"Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called." (KJV)

God is instructing us to  remain right where we are when He called us to salvation.  God gives a condition that if there is adultery or the unbeliever leaves the marriage then the marriage contract is broken and the believer is free of that contract.

Chapter 7 of First Corinthians is almost entirely in regards to the life situation of marriage (he does speak to slaves so that may pertain to where we work?) and remaining in a marriage to a non-believer.  You may have been "called" by the Lord to salvation but your spouse has not heard that calling…..yet.  Who knows what kind of impact you can have on your unbelieving spouse?

God knows!  He wants us to stay (remain) where we are and watch and see what miracles God can do in marriages, families, jobs and our entire lives. When God "called" each of us He always knew the plan and the purpose for when, where and how.  We trust in Him and His wisdom.