I AM SORRY

 I'm sorry you lost your dad.  He was always there for you, giving you advice and wisdom, encouragement and love.

I'm sorry your lost your grandpa. He way always making you laugh with his corny stories and jokes, giving you bear hugs and nuggies.

I'm sorry you lost your brother.  He called you to check in and reminisce about childhood adventures and talk about the old times.

I'm sorry you lost your friend.  You could always count on him to give you something, do something to make you smile or just let you know he was thinking about you.

I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to fill in the holes he has left.  I can only hope that in time each one of us will fill that gap with some of his lessons taught and words said.

I'm sorry we all lost him.  He brought so much happiness into the lives he touched it's hard to believe the world will ever be joyful again.

I'm sorry and Jesus wept.

Expectations

People never cease to amaze me.  They amaze me with their abilities.  They amaze me with their lack of comprehension. People who have walked with the Lord for a long time puzzle me in many ways.  They either have a firm grasp on the spiritual ways of God or they have very little knowledge of who He truly is.

I am not a theological expert, but I do know after walking with God for over 4 decades I have learned many things and one of the main things is that we are to serve where the Lord places us and at all times.  I still have much more to learn and do my best to keep my eyes open for what He wants from me.  At this point in my life, I should be an active missionary to those around me, not waiting for a missionary to come take care of me.  Jesus told us to be disciples, not to sit around and wait for other to care for us and our needs.  The Lord supplies all our needs and to think others can do that is not what Jesus taught his followers.

Many believers have an expectation that others should be ministering to them, yet they minister to no one.  Granted there are seasons and times when others should come alongside the person in need but if that person is in their version of "need" day after day, year after year, and those same people are not progressing in their day-to-day life and their walk with Jesus, there is an issue, a problem.  When someone wallows in self-pity and never shows any sign of improvement, why?  Do they expect someone to take care of them and help them through all of the days of their lives?  We are to keep our eyes focused on Jesus and we are to keep serving others in whatever way we can.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. - Colossians 3:17

since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Colossians 3:24

Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age. - Matthew 28:19-20

'He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. ' - Luke 10:2

Any long time Christian, sitting around year after year moaning "woe is me", will have a heavy price to pay when they stand before the Lord and answer for their life of nothingness and uselessness. Just as the tree that bore no fruit, they will be destroyed and thrown into the fire.

Over and over Jesus taught about the fruit that must come from the lives of his chosen people.  Those expectantly waiting for Jesus to remove all their burdens and send others to take care of their needs will have a rude awaking when He comes and declares,

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and, in your name, perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’  - Matthew 7:21-23

Share Your Faith

We live in a world where sharing your faith can be a hard thing, but it should not be.  Are you the kind of person that everyone knows all about your home, your job, your family, and all of your likes and dislikes but know absolutely nothing about what you spiritually believe?

I remember 30 years ago talking with someone about Jesus, his life and his mission here on earth.  She said to me, "Religion is a very personal thing and I don't talk about it."  That experience shut me right down and still bothers me though I am far bolder today. How can we spread the good news of salvation in Jesus if we never talk about him?

Mark 16:15 (NLT) - And then he told them, "Go into the world and preach the Good News to everyone."

Our world becomes filled more and more with sceptics and naysayers as we draw closer to the day of the Lord.  Many have no problems making fun of believers and sometimes the unbeliever is downright hostile.  Jesus warned us of earthy persecutions.

Matthew 10:22 (NIV) - You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

John 15:18 (NIV) -  If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

Matthew 24:9 (NIV) - Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.

Luke 21:17 (NLT) - And everyone will hate you because you are my followers.

In a day of electronics and social media we have the world at our fingertips.  Literally right at our fingertips.  When you post a comment on social media anyone in the world can read it.  No longer do you have to get in your car or onto an airplane and travel to distant lands to share the gospel of Jesus Christ.  You can type it out on a keyboard and send it. You can make a video and post it on a website.  You can upload a recorded podcast for all to hear.  Do they hear about Jesus and your walk with him? Do they know your testimony of the darkness of sin you came out of?  Are you helping others seek him and find him so they can be saved from their sins and walk with God? Or are you too afraid of what others will say about you and your faith and beliefs? 

Matthew 10:33 (NKJV) - But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.

To be silent of Jesus is in a way a denial of what he has done for us.  We have no problem sharing the joys in our lives, the milestones, the accomplishments, the sorrows, the troubles, the heartaches, the exciting times and the terrible times.  If this is all others know about us and have no idea of our faith in Jesus, then what truly is our purpose for existence here on earth?  Jesus said it very plainly in the verse above that by not expressing our love for him, our thankfulness for his sacrifice on the cross to pay for our sinful ways, then he will have nothing good to tell God Almighty about us.  Harsh truth is just that, harsh but necessary.  

We cannot expect Jesus to save us if we only follow him part of the way and then sit in the road waiting for him to come back and get us.  It is up to us to keep moving forward.  It is up to us to take up the cross and follow him.  Do not be silent about your faith in Jesus.  Do not be quiet about what he has done for you.  Do not fear the remarks of others but fear God.  Be a worthy disciple of Jesus Christ and speak his name wherever you go. Just think of what would happen if everyone in the world who believes in Jesus Christ as the savior of their souls would continually speak his name in their own circle of life!

Matthew 10:38 (NIV) - Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

Luke 9:23 (NIV) - Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

Ecclesiastes 5:7 (NLT) - Talk is cheap, like daydreams and other useless activities. Fear God instead.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 (NLT) - That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty.

Psalms 66:16 (NLT) - Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me.

The First Year

On September 21st I had the first anniversary of Jerry's death.   It was a melancholy day and I stayed close to home.  Many called or sent a text, thinking of me and of Jerry.  All I can say is, it has been a very long year and in the same breath I can say it was a very fast year.  It’s hard to explain. There were times when the clock seemed to stand still and then the hours went so fast it was incredible.

I have spent more and more time with the Lord as this makes me feel closer to Jerry and also brings me closer to Him.  I still have my failings and my selfish ways.  I have not been able to find any willpower to exercise or change my eating habits.  I am still 50 pounds overweight and I always remember my doctors saying in the past 2 decades, "You would feel so much better if you would lose weight."  Like I do not know that.  Food has always been a comfort to me especially when I am bored.  

Much has changed in the world in the past year as it spins farther into darkness.  All over the world there is chaos in the weather, in the governments, in the desires of human beings, in every thing that is on earth.  It seems that the birth pangs that Jesus spoke of in Matthew 24: 4-8 are increasing at an accelerated rate.

Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains."

In 7 months I will be 70 years old.  How is that possible?  I remember being a child, a teenager, a young adult, a mother, a worker, a grandmother, a wife.  I remember all the different stages of my life and I am in awe and so thankful that Father God chose me as one of His children and Jesus called me to His side.  I know that Holy Spirit resides in me and I often hear His voice speaking to my heart and my mind.  This is why I write and why I talk so much. 

But what of all the others who do not hear His call? 

Why do more people refuse Him and not come to Him in faith?  

Why are they so stubborn and defiant?  

Why has He placed so many here on earth when He knows so many will deny him?  

As the world becomes a darker place with more and more selfishness and sin there is more need for each of us who are followers of Jesus, to shed light into the world.  Maybe just one soul out there will see the light and come in.

In August, Dena and I got the Power of Twelve out to the public.  There are now 13 group planners either with groups going or groups getting started.  That is 156 women who will come together once a month to speak Godly encouragement into each other.  She presented it to her church coordinator who would like to get groups started in their church so that could bring in more groups and Dena goes to a large church in Loveland.  I am in awe that 5 years ago the Lord decided to use me for this mission field.  Now He is using Dena with her talents to get it into the hands of many women all over.  I remember clear as a bell when Holy Spirit said,

"The women will save the children, the grandchildren and the great grand children."

It is happening right now and all the glory goes to the Lord God Almighty who moves heaven and earth no matter how things look in real time.

I now that if Jerry were still here much of this would not be happening as I would be providing care for him.  I would not be able to start another Power of Twelve group at my church. I would not be able to devote time to others.  I would have been focused on him.  Though my grief and loneliness of missing my best friend and husband has subsided for most days, it is still a long road ahead of taking care of all things myself and I am an old, fat, thankful woman.  I speak throughout the day to my first Bridegroom Jesus to help me through whatever the situation is and you would be surprised at how many times He answers me and helps me.  

I plan on being here to do His work for a couple of more decades if the world lasts that long and hope I can continue to do so with an obedient heart.  I admit, I squandered many years so I am very happy He has given me this time to draw closer to Him and be there for others.  It is time for service to my God and time for my selfish desires to go.  I pray I am up for the task and able.

Power of Twelve Wednesday Weekly Word

I have had the honor of doing the Wednesday Weekly Word for our Power of Twelve newsletter for the past 3 weeks.  Here are the words God gave me for these words and scriptures.

Wednesday Weekly Word - August 30, 2023 - Word of the Week

By Founder Debra

Isaiah 61:10 “I am overwhelmed with JOY in the Lord my God! For He has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. I am like a bridegroom dressed for his wedding or a bride with her jewels.”

When days are long and filled with life it’s hard to breathe in His JOY. We are too busy breathing in life. But then we get that nudge from Him with a reminder He is right beside you. He loves you. He wants you to smile and be thankful. He wants to remind you that His JOY is your strength. Then take a breath for a minute and thank Him for forgiveness, for sending His son, and for calling you into His kingdom for all eternity. What a JOYous reminder of the Father’s love.

This scripture says “I am overwhelmed with JOY in the Lord my God!” When we allow the Spirit of God to remind us of everything the Lord has done for us how can we not be overwhelmed? How can we not be thankful we are here breathing and loving one another? Please take a few minutes and breathe in the JOY of the Lord and He will grab you in His arms of love and tell you how much He adores you. No matter what the outside circumstances are in your life right now, lay them aside and look in the eyes of your Bridegroom Jesus Christ. He loves you and He is the only one who can and will fill you with JOY that will overwhelm you and bring you peace.

Until next Wednesday may you be abundantly blessed and filled with JOY.

Wednesday Weekly Word – September 6, 2023

HOLY

Revelation 4:8 (NIV)

Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come.”

HOLY!  Do we really understand what this scripture says?  Are we each able to get a mind and heart vision of this verse? Day and night these angels never stop saying that the Lord God Almighty is HOLY!  Our Lord God is sanctified, purified, consecrated, appointed, sacred, dedicated, clean, perfect, pure, and moral.  These are the definitions used in the concordance to define HOLY.  

Before God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses He said this; 

“Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.”

Leviticus 19:2 (NIV)

As the chosen people of the Lord God Almighty we have instructions to be HOLY. He would not give us this instruction if we could not do it.  Every day we choose to be HOLY to please our God who does expect us to do this at all times.  Yes, we fall short many times in life but as we continue our walk with the Lord we learn to choose the path of holiness.  As we grow closer to Him we find that His image of holiness shines through us out to a world of darkness.  

I believe someday we will stand with the angels and cry HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is our Lord God Almighty and He will smile with love and pride for His chosen people!

May you be blessed as you shine this week!

Wednesday Weekly Word – September 13, 2023

DELIVER

Psalms 91:14-16 – 

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

This verse is the Lord speaking to His people.  He says to us, His people, that He will rescue us, protect us, and deliver us from the troubles of this world.  He is a Father who loves and cares for His children and will do what He can to cover us from the enemy who seeks to kill, steal and destroy the children of God. 

We know this world has trouble but we also know we have a powerful Lord and Savior who has defeated the enemy and provides salvation to His faithful followers.  Granted we are here on earth for purposes we sometimes cannot see or fully understand but as we daily trust in our Lord we know that He does and will deliver us from worldly troubles, then one day He will happily and joyfully deliver us into the new heaven and earth at the perfect time.

Today we are His hands, His feet, His smile, His love and His laughter.  Between now and the time we are delivered into His arms and His glory, pray without ceasing and be the best child of the Most High God you can be to those around you. 

May your week be blessed as you deliver His words of love to others.

 

SPIRIT OF GOD

I am reading a book about the Spirit of God which has brought questions to mind.  We call Him "The" Holy Spirit.  Why do we call Him 'the' Holy Spirit?  He is a personage of God.  We don't call God, "The God".  We don't call Jesus, "The Jesus".  His name is God.  His name is Jesus. His name is Holy Spirit or Spirit of God.  Throughout the Bible He is called Spirit in 111 verses, Holy Ghost in 89 verses, and also Spirit of God, Spirit of the Lord, Spirit of Truth, and Spirit of Christ.   

When we are talking about what He does, we say things like, "by the power of the Holy Spirit" and this is the correct way to use the word 'the". When we use His name in a sentence, and we talk to Him on a personal level He is Holy Spirit.  He is Spirit of God, and the other names mentions.

When He becomes a personal friend and confidant, He is Comforter.  He is Advocate.  He is Breath of God.  He is Strong Tower.  He is Defender.  He is Mighty Warrior. He is Lover of our souls.  He is God in us, speaking to us, being with us, guiding and teaching.  We can cry out to Him when we are suffering, and He is with us with arms tight around us.  When we are joyful and happy He is smiling and laughing with us and pleased with us.  He brings contentment and joy.  He brings peace and hope.  He brings us and shows us the Father's love.

I know I am probably making a big deal over this, but it does bother me that we seem to think of Him as lesser than the Father and the Son, but we know that is not true.  Our God is One God.  He is three in One.  Each person of the Godhead is as omnipotent and omnipresent as the other.  We know we are body, soul and spirit and we are one human being.  We are created in His image in the same way.  Just as He is, without one of those parts we are not a full human being.  A body empty of soul and spirit is just that, empty.  God, without Son and Spirit cannot be the great I AM.  God Almighty.  Creator of the Universe. 

Here is my prayer for today - 

Holy Spirit come and be my rest for the day.  Fill me with your presence and show me your ways to love others.  Keep my family and friends safe in your arms. I love you Holy Spirit and thank you for always covering me and loving me even when I was selfish and disobedient.  Fill me more and more with your words of wisdom and knowledge.  Amen!

Guard Your Mind

This morning I need to write about what happened in my dreams last night.  I was attacked and had to fight.  There were monsters all over. Demons coming at me and who I was with.  Every corner, every turn, there was another monster showing up and coming at us.  Again and again the attackers came at us.  Just when I turned a corner and thought they were gone another one of them came at me.  I knew they were trying to kill me but I was able to fight them off.  I don't remember if I had a weapon but I was fighting.  It was a terrible battle and I was getting so very tired but I could not give up or I was dead.  Then I woke up.

In waking everything was so vivid and I began calling on the name of Jesus!  I knew there were evil spirits in my mind and they had been tormenting me in my sleep.  They had been out to kill my peace.  For at least 10 minutes I prayed and said the name of Jesus as my heart quit racing and the faces of the monsters were replaced with the face of Jesus and his angels who set guard over us when we call on Him.  I turned on my audio Bible to the book of Psalms let the verses flood my mind.  Chapter 18 is where I started listening as David cried out to the Lord to fight his battles and to protect him.  If was not a coincidence the Lord started me in that chapter.  I took 15 to 20 minutes before I was calm again and the monsters were fading from my thoughts.  I fell back to sleep with the audio Bible playing the monsters never returned.

As I think about the event this morning, it was terrifying to have it happen but then as I read Psalms 18 this morning I knew in my spirit that God had played that word for me to calm me from the attack of the devil I had experienced. This scripture reaffirmed to me that we are in a world filled with evilness and even those of us who walk closely with the Lord can come under spiritual attacks just as it says in Ephesians 6:12.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

God gives us the way to fight these rulers of the darkness and that is what we are told to do in Ephesians 6:13-18.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 

I have underlined the words, above all, to point out the shield of faith is what was needed to fight the monsters who came into my dreams last night.  As I woke from the fight, the dream, I had the ability to know it was a demonic attack and to go straight to Jesus and His word.  Without faith in the power of Jesus we are open to the demonic attacks here on earth.  It's a daily walk and daily learning how to walk the walk.  Without being in the word of God we cannot be prepared when these attacks come at us.  The blueprint for navigating these battles is right there in scripture for all of us to learn and know.

This morning my devotional only reaffirmed what I already knew but I love the poke from Holy Spirit that I heard correctly. Remember, with God there are no coincidences. 

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. - Romans 8:6

Finding Yourself After Loss

It's a very different life after spending 40 years with one person on a daily basis.  This person could be a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, a close friend but whomever it was they were there and no they are not.  In many cases it is death but divorce, relationship troubles, and long distance moves also takes them away.  Days are not the same when they were there, you enjoyed having them there and now they are gone.  So what do you do now?

It's been almost 11 month since my husband died.  It's still hard to say that, "He died."  For 11 months, on a daily basis, I have missed his face and his voice.  I have missed the noise he made in the house.  I miss washing his clothes.  I miss seeing him sit at the kitchen table or putter around outside on something.  Things are still the same here at home but they are not the same.  He is nowhere to be found but signs of him are everywhere.

It doesn't hurt so bad today.  I don't cry every day.  I don't feel sadness every day.  I keep wondering what my future is going to be now that I am a widow and a single person when I used to be married and a couple.  I just don’t know but I keep getting up every day and do something.  I don't push myself and think I'm going to figure it out today or even tomorrow.  For 11 months I have just kept going, watching the pages of the calendar changing.  I read a lot.  I write a lot.  I talk to family and friends a lot.  I do the household chores.  I think about past, present and future.  I pray and talk with the Lord all the time.  He listens a lot and Holy Spirit speaks back to me with words of encouragement and wisdom.  

Psalms 46:10 (NIV)

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

As I wait on the Lord for whatever the day holds for me I know He keeps moving in my heart and mind to be still and know that He is God.  Nothing I can do today can change what happened yesterday and no amount of thinking and planning will change tomorrow.  He says to trust Him and I do.  He says to commune with Him and I do.  He says to listen to His still small voice and I do.  He says do not fear so I cannot.  He says do not worry so I cannot do that either.  What I can do is pray for those He lays on my heart and mind today and then really pray for them.  Pray protection for them.  Pray health for them.  Pray love for them.  Pray they hear Him and acknowledge He is Lord of ALL.  Not some, but all.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Am I a different person today than I was at this time last year?  Yes, I am. 

Am I going to be a different person at this time next year?  Yes, I am.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  God knows.  He always has a plan and it is always a good plan for those who love Him and are called His children.  My purpose right now is to listen and learn.  To help where I can.  To love others and to keep moving forward until He calls me home to be with Him.  

Matthew 14:31 (NIV)

'Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 

For now, I will be able to find myself as long as I keep my eyes on Him.

Our Calling

 Our Power of Twelve word this month has been from II Peter 1:10-11.

Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:10-11

Other translations of these scriptures say to be more diligent, work hard, be eager, try harder.  The Lord wants us to each figure out what our calling in this life is.  He wants us to figure it out.  But how do we do that?  For me, I had to have the Holy Spirit reveal it to me after my brain tumor.  I had to admit to myself and others that I had not been walking obediently in what the Lord wanted me to do.  I had resisted Him in certain areas and trudged along in life without seeking out what it was specifically He needed me to do for Him.  I had committed most of my life to Him but not all of my life to Him.  I have to admit, I am selfish and only wanted to do so much even if it was for God.  Dummy me!  So He had to get my attention with a brain tumor.  How sad is that!?  

For the past 5 years I have done much better and I believe I have found what His calling is for me and that is to speak out about encouragement and with encouragement.  To not be afraid to step out and let Him use me for a voice.  I love to talk and I love people so what a better calling than talking and loving?  I know sometimes I don't always choose my words in the perfect way but I am still learning.  

I am still a work in progress and will be until my last breath here on the planet.

We each should want to please Jesus once we become His follower.  We should each want to do what He wants from us and not hide away hoping He won't make us go to a foreign country to preach the gospel to primitive tribes.  It's funny that we many times think He will make us do something we do not want to do.  That is never His way with His people.  Just think about all the patience He had with His chosen people, the Israelites. If anyone bungled it time after time, year after year, it was those people!  His chosen people, the Jewish, are still waiting for their Messiah.  They missed Him when He came  the first time which is so very sad.

Sometimes a calling is inviting a group of women into your home to be a hostess and  a friend.  Sometimes it is working in the Sunday School teaching little children about Jesus.  Sometimes it is baking and taking food to a family in distress.  Sometimes it is giving your money to someone in need.  Sometimes it is as simple as being the one praying for those you know who need prayer for the trials they are going though.  

Callings are what the Holy Spirit lays on your heart to do.  It is never anything you cannot do and is always something you do for Him and for others.  Callings are not about you, they are about others and it begins with a thought, a prompt from the Spirit of God.  A callings is something you can say "yes" to but it is always something you can say "no" to.  It's another one of those free will things.  It's His idea but your choice.  If you don't know what He has called you for just ask him and He will show you.  Don't wait for a brain tumor to pop up late in life when you could have been doing so much more for Him and the people in your life.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV) - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Matthew 7:7 (NIV) - Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Proverbs 8:17 (NIV) - I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.

Deuteronomy 4:29 (NIV) -But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Surrender

I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ in 1975.  I did not continually walk in His way and was selfish most of the time.  As the past 48 years have progressed I can honestly say I am not near as selfish as I was back then.  I want to please Him but still fall short just like the scriptures say.  I try time after time to surrender all of my remaining selfish ways but can't seem to get rid of all of me.  My problem is that I have always liked me.  Enough to cause me problems and troubles for my entire life. 

 

Jesus never had one selfish bone in His body.  He was perfect and He still is perfect.  I will never be perfect while I breathe air on this planet.  No matter how much I try or how much I surrender there will always be that one things I can't get passed.  That one little lie.  That one little word about another person.  That one feeling of distrust.  That one memory that pops into my brain and cause me grief and guilt. 

 

I know that surrendering is something we all should do and we do many times with many things.  Of course the ultimate and most important is that surrender to Jesus to admit we are dirty and lowly creatures filled with all that is despicable.  We are worse than the animals that roam the earth because we have the mental ability and the choice to chose to do good and be upright in our actions.  They are animals with only animal tendencies.  But how often do we look just like a wild animal?

 

When we surrender to Jesus the Holy Spirit comes to live with and in us to help guide and teach us.  He is with every single believer in the world today.  Some hear Him.  Some see Him moving.  Some do as He instructs.  Some fight Him.   Even when we fight Him He never leaves us.  He sticks to us like glue whether we want Him to or not.  We can turn our backs and walk away but He continues to follow us wherever we go.  Once He's there, He's there.  Once He's in, He's in.  I am so grateful for His patience and endurance with rebellious me!  I don't want to hurt Him but I am still selfish.

 

The Apostle Paul spoke many time of "missing the mark."  Of not being worthy.  Of letting the flesh rule over him.  I understand this well.  But as the years continue on for me I will continue on for Him.  I will continue to try to surrender all of my selfishness and my icky human ways because of my love for Jesus.  I refuse to quit trying to be a better servant.  A better bride.  A better woman.  A better human being. 

 

Galatians 5:16-18 (NKJV)

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

 

Romans 8:6 (NKJV)

For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

 

James 1:14 (NKJV)

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.

 

Part of our walk with the Lord for decades is to learn His ways.  To follow His teachings and to become more and more an image of our Father.  We will continue to experience failure and feel unworthy to be called His children but He has already made a way for us to receive His forgiveness and mercy.  Do we really think He doesn't know our hearts hurt when we are disobedient?  Did you every experience tears as a child when we knew that Dad found out that we had lied about breaking the vase?  I cried when I knew Dad was going to discipline me for my failure to do as told or hide the truth of what I had done.  Our Heavenly Father does the same.  He wants us to learn, be better and do better. Always.  I will continue to surrender until such a time as I no longer have anything left to surrender and am fully and completely as He made me to be.  Perfect.  At that time I will be looking into His magnificent face!

 

Galatians 6:9 (NKJV)

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

 

Romans 8:1 (NKJV)

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

 

I Corinthians 10:13 (NKJV)

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

 

I John 2:17 (NKJV)

And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.