The Split of the Twelve Tribes

The Split of the Twelve Tribes

Monday, 6 October, 2025

1:37 PM

 

Do you ever wonder if the Twelve Tribes of Israel ever thought they would split and become enemies?  I doubt when they were held slaves by Pharoah they thought about it.  I doubt when they were going through the Red Sea they thought about it.  I doubt during the wandering in the desert for 40 years they were thinking about it.  Even when they were fighting to take the Promised Land they were fighting for the land that God the Father had promised Abraham.

 

But sure enough after centuries of being blood relatives and worshipping the One True God they divided into Judah (2 tribes) and Israel (10 tribes).  Israel was the first to be conquered and scattered then about a century and a half later the tribes of Judah were conquered and scattered.  Satan with his idolatrous way had destroyed the family that God had made.  He is still doing it today.

 

Fast forward a couple thousand years plus and you see the people in America dividing in much the same way. The idol worship of 'self' has taken so many away into a life away from God.  The people on one side have morals, integrity, values, and focus on others.  The people on the other side are mostly looking out for themselves first and then maybe there is a little room for others.

 

So is the split for America coming soon?  It does look like America is going that same direction.  It is almost a repeat of what happened for the original Hebrew tribes.  Little by little the evils of the world lead many away from God.  God the Father and creator of all things.  People in America worship their money, their possessions, their looks, and their fame.  The most elite of the tribes of Israel were led astray by the same things. 

 

God has always know the heart of mankind is hard hearted and very selfish but he repeatedly tries to woo his children back to him.  His love is everlasting but can his patience for the horrific things people do to one another continue?  I don't think so and I think that was probably why the twelve tribes split back around 750 BC and 590 BC.  Instead of destroying the people he scattered them all over the world so they could chase after other gods and lose the blessings he had once offered them if they would worship him alone.  It is really one of the saddest stories ever told.

 

America was once a Christian nation.  A nation that followed after God and worshiped him for the most part. There are always the rebellious just like Lucifer but 400 years ago on the shores of America they were few and far between.  Not so today in 2025!  Satan and Self worship go hand in hand in America today.

 

The American split is coming.  It could come very fast or it could take several hundred more years.  I pray not but humans never seem to learn lessons the easy way, only the hard way.  All I can do is pray that those in my linage never walk away from the face of God.  The one true God who loves us, created us and wants to be a Father to us.

In the Image of God

In The Image of God

Saturday, 4 October, 2025

6:56 AM

We read in Genesis that we were created in the image of God.  In my mind that means we look like him.  Though we each have our own personality and our own mind the outside of us looks like him. 

 

When I think of my children I can see some of me in them.  The freckles.  The white skin.  Even some of the mannerisms are there but those can be formed by them living with me from their early childhood until early adulthood.  The same with characteristics.  It's always entertaining to hear some of my words come out of them in the later years of life just as when I make statement that my own mother used to make.

 

These are all human traits but what about the spirit of each of us?  My children were raised from the beginning to believe in a God, the One who loves them and gave them life.  They were raised in a Christian home with Bible teachings.  They were not raised in a Jewish home, an Islamic home, a Buddhist home or any other religion.  Many children are born to homes that practice no religion whatsoever.  They are brought up in the image of what their parents put into them.  They develop the same morals, character and beliefs of their parents.  Sometimes later in life a person will seek their own identity and not that of their parents and find their own version of God. 

 

In 2025 we live in a world of instant information.  If you have a question you can find an answer.  The answer can come from many different versions of intelligence.  Artificial intelligence is just starting to take hold but even artificial intelligence was placed by human knowledge so there could be many answers.  Which one is the truth? How does a human speak of the knowledge of spirituality if they are not a spiritual person?  How does a person who has no relationship with God define the Spirit of God or the image of God? 

 

Scienfitic truths are the facts, but as technology changes and advances those facts can also change and therefore that scientific truth changes.  Is that the same with spiritual truth?  Can a Creator God open the eyes of the blind through the power of His Spirit? Can we be changed and molded into more of a reflection of who He is? I believe we can.  Personally as my knowledge of my God changes and grows my spirit also changes and grows.  I know only the one true God.  I know only his son Jesus Christ.  I know only the Holy Spirit who lives and dwells with me.  I study the Holy Bible and then I let the power of God's Holy Spirit open my eyes of understanding.  I seek knowledge.  I seek only his truth and as the years have passed I find my truth and his truth become one and the same.  I want and desire to be like my Father.

 

I pray a lot.  I want my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to have God in them and be transformed into his image.  As I write this they all know the same God that I do. They all confess that Jesus is the Son of God who came to pay the price for sin.  My heart is filled with love and thankfulness of this! I cannot express my gratitude for God's image being in my family and those who carry my blood in them!  What a miracle that we are considered chosen and called by the Creator of the Universe!  

 

When I look in a mirror I see my old blue eyes, my freckled white skin and now white hair that used to be reddish, I see a twinkle of God the Father in me.  In that reflection is my earthly father who had the blue eyes, his mother who had the red hair and freckles but also of my heavenly Father whose spirit lives in me.  This makes me smile!

Abraham, Isaac and Jacob

 Abraham, Isaac and Jacob

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

12:15 PM

 

I have been stuck in a study of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob for a week and it is always so fascinating to me. 

 

The One True God calls Abram out of Ur and he and his family travel from Ur, along the Euphrates River to Haran. Eventually they go down to Egypt and then back to the Jordan River Valley near Hebron. Several times Abraham is in Damascus which is Northern Israel. Isacc, son of Abraham and his family seem to stay in the vicinity of the Jordan River Valley (Southern Israel) most of the time.  Jacob, son of Isaac, leaves the Jordan River Valley (Southern Israel) and travels far north to Haran to find his wives Rebekah and Leah.  When he leaves Haran to head back to his homeland he meets God who changes his name to Israel and he settles back in the Jordan Valley which becomes called the land of Isreal.

 

 

On Jacobs travels back to the Jordan Valley he encounters a man whom he wrestles for a night.  The man eventually gives Jacob a blessing and  Jacob knows he has just seen the face of God.  The place is called Peniel "The Face of God".  He then meets his estranged brother Esau and they reconcile.  Jacob settles near Shechem where more trouble follows him and his family.

 

 

It seems that once Jacob is named Israel trouble becomes normal life for the family.

The family is stubborn and hot headed.  They are rebellious in life and rebellious to God.  The brothers sell their younger brother, Joseph, into slavery.  But God is still holding on to his promise to Abraham, Issac and Jacob that he will make them a great nation.  Joseph is a slave in Egypt but eventually becomes a great Egyptian leader.  During a great famine he saves his lost family living in Edom and they all move to Egypt only to becomes slaves as the centuries move on.  God sends Moses to get the Israelite's out of slavery.  They wander through the desert for 40 years with God taking care of them and keeping them alive.  God finally lets them into the Promise Land where they battle the idol worshipping pagans but still do not obey God.  They are taken captive again and again.  They fight with the pagans and they fight amongst themselves.  God finally send the promised Messiah to save them but they kill him.  That was over 2,000 years ago and they are still fighting, still waiting for their Messiah and still a hated nation of people. In a nutshell, nothing has changed for the chosen people of God since Abraham was called out of Ur to a promised land.

 

This brief summary spans around 4,000 years.  We can only estimate the years from Adam to Noah and then Noah to Abraham but it could be another 4,000 years or more.  Father God keeps calling to his chosen people to repent and come to him.  He still wants to have a relationship with his creation.  He still loves us even when we are rebellious and stubborn.  He continues to keep the earth rotating, the sun shining and letting us breath air. 

 

Jesus walked the earth about 2,000 years ago and did his best to open up the door between mankind and God.  He told his followers that the only way to come to the Father was through him and his offer of salvation for eternal life.  He told his followers that faith, hope and love were the ways of God.  He said to love each other and not kill each other.  He showed signs and wonders to back up his claim to be God in the flesh.  His own preachers and teachers denied him and hung him on a cross.  They turned their backs on God.  Hundreds of people saw Jesus alive after his death but many could not and would not believe this could ever be possible.  They turned their backs on the Son of God.

 

Today we still have signs and wonders that happen but many choose not to believe.  Many still choose to walk in the desert, disobey God, seek their own selfishness, follow after pagan idols, lie, steal, cheat, kill and destroy others.  They choose to turn their backs on God, his Son and his Holy Spirit.

 

It can be an amazing journey if we are seeking God and his ways and every once in a while a heart sparks and an ear hears that whisper from God that says, "Come to me! Follow me!" 

 

 

To Be Stronger

To Be Stronger

Saturday, August 16, 2025

6:21 AM

 

What a long month and it is only half way through.  Actually, all months seem long these days.  The years are passing right before my eyes since Jerry died almost 3 years ago.  How can 3 years possibly have passed?  Yet here I am.

 

I made it through my 30th year in the Floral Department of the Fair.  Though I do not know for certain if it is 30 years or more.  It could be 32 years since I have Fair ribbons from 1993 and did not start taking flowers into the fair until I was volunteering in the floral department.  But at any rate, 30 years is a long time to volunteer.  At age 71 it is harder than ever to get through the week.  I am so thankful for the other ladies who volunteer with me! 

 

Before the Fair, for several weeks my lungs were bad.  I am not sure what happened, whether it was the dry air with no rain or moisture for almost 2 months, or a build-up of pollen and dust, but I had lots of wheezing going on and my energy level was way down.  I was not sleeping well.  I was not eating well.  I was worn down and very tired.  Daily tasks were a struggle.  After the Fair my body was even worse so I ended up in Urgent Care and was put on a nebulizer to help my lungs.  That had been 3 days ago and at least I am breathing a bit better.  But my strength is gone. 

 

My weight is up almost 20 pounds since Jerry died.  I know much of it has to do with inactivity.  I know much of it has to do with my eating habits.  I know much of it has to do with me not caring about how I look any longer.  I know much of it has to do with age.  I do not know how to get myself back to a point of caring about me.  I need to find strength to go on.

 

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

 

Today I could hardly feel any weaker.  Weaker in body.  Weaker in mind.  Weakness is all I feel.  How could I let myself go so bad?  How can I get through the day?  How can I find a way out?  How do I find the Lord's power in me when I can barely walk?

 

I don’t feel depressed but maybe this is the way I do depression.  Maybe it is just another part of grief as I move into this new life that has become such a mystery to me.  Maybe I need to find the new Debra and figure out the path she must take.  Maybe I should move more!  Maybe I should do something, anything, different.  I wish the Lord would show me what the future looks like.  I wish he would speak to me and let me hear him.  I wish he would give me the strength I need to keep going with at least a little bit of joy and happiness.  Thankfulness I do have but joyfulness is lacking.  Lacking a lot!  I am not happy with this Debra who mopes through the day feeling fat, useless, weak, and without strength.

 

Lord please hear my plea for strength for the day.  Strength of mind.  Strength of heart.  Strength of body. 

 

 

Refresh Me Oh Lord

 There are times in life that deplete every ounce of energy we may have.  We are so busy we cannot find even a few minutes to breathe and be still before the Lord.  There are times of life that take everything we have just to get out of bed in the morning.  We haven't slept a wink because our bodies ache and our minds will not stop running us ragged.  There are times of life where it seems nothing will ever resolve itself and the Lord is silent.  We cry out but the answers do not come.

We drag ourselves through each day to only repeat it the next day.  We beg for mercy.  We beg for help.  We beg for one scrap from His table just so we know He is there. 

Where is our Lord during these times?  Did He tell us there would be times of hardship?  Did He tell us we would be persecuted?  Did He tell us life would not be easy?  Yes.  He did.  We just did not really want it and we certainly did not want to expect it, but here it is.  

Jesus spend 40 days in the desert with no food and no water.  How did He do it?  No human can live 40 days without water in a desert.  But He was God, not all human.  He had angels attending to Him.  Something was different for Him.  He had to go through a persecution far greater than anything you or I must ever deal with for we are fully human.  He had to prove He was able to make it through the desert temptations for that one final sacrifice would be the greatest sacrifice of all.  He would have to take the sins of the entire world upon Himself and not give in to the evil one.  Somewhere out in that desert He was refreshed and was able to endure.

You and I are given those times of refreshing when we feel like we cannot take one more step.  We cannot take one more thing without breaking.  The Holy Spirit reminds us He is with us and drops that first drop of refreshment upon us.  He gives us that little spark to tell us He hears us and is for us not against us.  He breathes that small tiny breath of life back into us so that we can go on for one more hour.  He reminds us that the fight is real but so is the reward at the end of it all.  He calms our fears and holds us in His arms of love and reassurance that it will be worth it if we just keep going.  We hear His words of refreshing in our souls.

Jeremiah 31:25 (NIV) - I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.

Proverbs 11:25 (NIV) - A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Acts 3:19 (NKJV) - Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord,

Change

Each one of us experience change at one time or another in our lives.  Without change there is no growth.  The changes begin at birth and go for our entire lives.  First it is our physical appearance from a baby, to a child, to a young adult, to an adult and then to an old person.  

Then there are the changes to our minds.  As babies we can do nothing on our own and require a parent to feed us and clothe us.  As we grow we learn to feed ourselves and clothe ourselves. Our minds also change as we learn new things both my experience and by being taught.  We are talk how to talk by our parents and those around us. We go to school and are taught.  All throughout life we learn new things.  Each one of us has the ability to choose to learn more or reject new teachings.  Knowledge and wisdom are before us all throughout life.

There are also the changes that happen as the years move forward.  We move on to new seasons of life.  We find a helpmate and someone to love us as we love them.  We have a family of our own.  We move to our own house.  We find our own jobs.  We live a life of our choosing.  We experience each and every day knowing that change will happen.  For myself, there were many time that changes occurred because of the decisions I made.  I chose to have sex at age 18 and a baby was on the way.  I chose to keep the baby even though my parents advocated for an abortion of that baby.  I chose to marry the father who did not want to get married but was forced by his family to marry me.  I chose to divorce him.  I chose to marry a much kinder man who wanted me and my two children.  I chose to love and forgive him for almost 40 years even when we did have some troubles.

Today I am choosing to live my life as an older, single woman who follows Jesus Christ.  Every day I choose Jesus and study the Bible and his teachings.  I choose to have faith that He was God on earth, that He died on a cross to pay for my sins, and  I choose to believe he rose from the dead and will come again to receive all of us who believe in him into his new kingdom.  I choose to change and become more of a reflection of him to a world where so many have no hope, no faith, no future as far as they can see with their eyes.  I choose to pray for the lost souls, the angry souls, the desperate souls.

Change can be hard but not changing can be worse.  Without change we live and die and nothing changes.  Without change we cannot see the kingdom of heaven and we cannot experience the eternal life promised to us by our Creator, our King, our God.

James 1:17 (NIV) Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

1 Samuel 15:29 (NIV) He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind.”

Matthew 18:3 (NIV) And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Daily Walk

It has been over 1000 days since I became a widow.  Every single day is the same yet every single day is different now.  There is no earthly husband but Jesus has become my Bridegroom.  I speak to him in the morning when I wake.  I speak to him throughout the day.  I speak with him as I close my eyes for sleep.

He speaks back not in audible words but in signs and voices of others.  Whenever I am questioning something if I pay attention the answer comes either through my Bible study, the voices of others I speak with during the day, in something else I read, through a song, through a thought.  There is always an answer.  

When I was working I would spend so much time on everything other that the Lord.  I worked and then I would spend many of the rest of my hours on me.  I have been retired 4 years now.  The first 19 months was a blur with Covid and then watching my husband die.  Now for 33 months I have been trying to figure out my place in the world at the ripe old age of 71 as a single old woman with no family close by.  

It's a different walk these days as I reinvent who I am.  I do not know how to be anything other than a wife, a mother, an employee, a friend, or a neighbor.  There is no instruction manual on living a changed life. It's a day by day experience.  Many days are quiet with no forward movement and no plan.  Some days I wonder who I am.  I wonder what I am doing.  I wonder am I doing anything right?  Is there anyone else as confused as I am?

My daily walk with Jesus Christ is solid.  I know him well and I am so very thankful for that.  I study his word and I sing his praises for all of the wonderful things he has done for me and all that is in my future.  He has taken such good care of me that sometimes I feel guilty for all of his favor and special touches on my life and the lives of my children and grandchildren.  I trust him 1000 percent with everything in my life.  I give all the glory to him for my life and that he walks with me!

Today is July 1 of the year 2025!  I remember the feelings and anticipation of the year 2000!  The world was excited yet fearful of what this new millennium would bring.  Then the Twin Towers were attacked and fell in New York City on September 11, 2001.  It has not gotten better.  In fact each year it seems the world keeps spinning farther out of control.  Hate, selfishness, greed, power, sexual sin, and so much evil has taken over. 

2 Timothy 3:1-5 says; "1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people."

How are we expected to live in a world like this?  We are to trust the Lord and not try to figure out how he will handle this.  We are not to live in fear.  We are to help with what we can help with and not try to make everything right.  We are to witness to the sinner but not think we need to live among them.  We are to live as peaceably as we can in a world filled with evil even as the evil increases.  We are to set our eyes on Jesus and watch for his second coming.  There is nothing we can do to change the world as it draws closer to the end.  We can try to point others to Jesus in hopes they will hear and seek him.  If their heart is filled with darkness and they are not a part of the chosen people they will never hear.  They will never come into the kingdom of God.  It may break our heart that someone we know is not one of the chosen but that is the way it is.  Those who refuse to hear the truth of God is not our responsibility.  Moses tried to talk with Pharoah but Pharoah's heart was hardened.  There was nothing Moses could have done to change what the Father had planned.  Accepting the will of God can sometimes be very hard and confusing for us.

As my days continue to be quiet or busy, as my days continue to seem very different from what I have experienced in the past, I will learn and adjust to what is ahead for me.  I will continue to seek wisdom and knowledge of what the Lord has set in motion for me and for the world.  I will continue to praise him for each and every day he allows me to breathe.  There is no going back to the old ways so I have to trust the new ways are his ways for me.

The Beginning

 The Beginning

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

5:39 AM

When the Lord first breathed the plans of Power of Twelve in me He told me "the women will save the children, the grandchildren and the great grandchildren."  The encouragement ministry of Power of Twelve was to be  multi-generational group, a mix of older and younger women coming together to share an hour of encouragement with each other.  I have found after 8 years this plan is harder than I thought it would be.  The younger generation is too busy for an hour a month.  The younger women are stressed with jobs.  The younger women are bouncing everywhere with family activities.  So how Lord, do we get the attention of the younger women for an hour?

How do we let these young women know that one hour of encouraging words will help not add to the stress?  How do we get them to understand that older women have done this juggling act and know it does not work in the long run and the stress continues to pile up on not only each woman but also on her spouse and her children.  How do the older women save their own children from the snares of the world?  How do we get them to listen?

Even the women who no longer have young children in the house do not want to participate in Power of Twelve.  They are too tired from their jobs and careers to spend one hour a month with other women even if it is an encouraging time.  They covet that one hour a month for themselves.  I have been there and I know how each precious hour during the month is coveted for self-preservation.  To sleep.  To have down time.  To go for a walk.  To dig in the flowerbeds.  To do anything that requires nothing.  How do we get them to understand that this one hour can be a blessing to their souls and their spirits?  How do we get them to understand it will only bring them closer to the Lord?

Lord I ask that you give me and the other Leaders of groups the ability to speak into the hearts of the younger women that gathering together for one hour a month will be beneficial and worth the sacrifice of coming together to encourage each other in our daily lives.  Help each of us have the right words for each woman we speak to about joining a group.  Please send the Holy Spirit before us as we approach them with an invitation to come together in order to save the children, the grandchildren and the great grandchildren.

In Jesus mighty name I pray! Amen!

Stepping Out

Stepping Out

Monday, June 9, 2025

5:08 AM

I did something really weird this morning.  I moved my Blog to a Substack.  Why?  Only God knows that one. 

I have been writing since I was 12 years old.  Pouring out my brain and my heart mostly for me but now the Lord has me thinking, "Maybe someone else can read your words and hear themselves in you."  We are all so very different but we are also the same in so many ways.

We all have emotions and feelings.  

We all have thoughts and dreams.  

We all have aches and pains.  

We all share tears and laughter.  

We are each unique and uniquely made by the Creator.

We are called by the Lord to come along side one another with love and encouragement.

I read a couple of others who write similar to me but maybe not so personal.  Except Sean, he writes personal and he writes with humor.  My humor is lacking.  That must be the difference between a male and a female when it comes to putting brain on paper (or screen).

Of course with the Substack I have no idea what I am doing.  I am not looking for subscribers so they will have to fall into my Substack to ever read what I write.  Maybe someday my children, grandchildren or great grandchildren will find this little Substack and read what their Grandmother wrote.  Maybe someday they will find my words and be encouraged.  Maybe someday they will read something that leads them closer to Jesus!  That would be the number #1 reason for making a Substack and a Blog.  

If you are my descendent, sorry for the weird stuff but Hallelujah for the good stuff! 

I love you with an everlasting love!

Grama 

 

Distractions

 Distractions

Wednesday, May 21, 2025

6:14 PM

It's been months since I last wrote.  I have no idea why I write and don't write.  Most people who journal do it every day or every other day.  I seem to do things in spurts.  I am rarely constant in anything besides sleeping and eating. 

I do write the Power of Twelve Wednesday Weekly Word and then Dena and I do our podcast once a week too.  So I am getting some of my thoughts out on paper.  But not like when I ramble about life.

For these past several months I have been down in the heart.  I know I am still grieving over the loss of Jerry and really miss his companionship.  It was not good at the end but we at least had conversations.  Now all I do is yell at my cats.  Penny pukes up hairballs and food every day and Boo wants in and out and in and out and in and out all day long and meows until I move.  I love them and hate them.

I haven't gone to church here at home since Christmas.  Sitting in church by myself, with a majority of strangers and crying through worship got the best of me.  I would rather grieve and worship at home by myself than with strangers.

I do stay in the word every day in one way or another.  God is the only constant and continuous one in my life but lately I feel like He isn't paying much attention to my needs either.  I know He loves me.  I know He cares.  I know I am probably feeling this way because my emotions are all over the place but it just seems there are so many distractions pulling me all over the place and all I want to do is curl up in His arms and rest.  Maybe it's the devil doing it all and for whatever reason the Lord is not blocking his punches to me.  Maybe it's my Job test.  Like Job I will never denounce God or turn from Him but I will cry and whine for the treatment He is allowing to happen to me and around me.

In just the past 7 weeks I went to Eagle Crest with the kids for 8 days, then 10 day later flew to Jacksonville FL to spend a week with Felicia. On the home trip the plane flaps quit working so we had an emergency landing back to Jacksonville which made me miss my connection in Atlanta to Portland.  It was a 24 hour delay with 4 hours of sleep.  I was home 2 days when Chris called to tell me Duke flew out of the window of the pickup and broke a back hind leg.  That was on Friday May 2nd.  I had just gotten home on Thursday.  Brother Dave showed up on Saturday and stayed until Monday.  He helped me mow the lawn on Sunday. Sunday afternoon Natalee called crying because Chris was puking up blood so he was in ER at Centralia.  I packed my suitcase again and headed the 150 miles to Adna Monday after Dave left at noon.  Chris was in ICU for 3 days home on Wednesday.  The orthopedic vet was unable to save Duke's leg so it was amputated on Thursday in Vancouver.  I paid $5,000 to help with the bill.  They kept him overnight so Chris and I headed back on Friday.  The round trips are 150 miles.  So that was 2 in 2 days.  I stayed till Monday May 12th and then drove the 150 miles home.  The kids were set to go on their Maui vacation on May 15th.  Kristy was taking the dog watching shift from Wednesday to Tuesday and then I was supposed to drive back up on Tuesday and stay will they got home on Saturday May 24th.  Kristy felt sorry for me so she decided to stay the whole 10 days.  Tim is home holding things down at their house.  

I got home on May 12th and slept for 12 hours the first night and then almost 12 the next night.  All I did was relax, eat and watch TV.  Then Surprise! Tuesday and Wednesday the asphalt company was here to do the driveway.  Sunday May 18th was our Power of 12 meeting and on May 19th I had a THS Alumni meeting.  On May 20th there was a critter somewhere in my garage, which I had heard knocking things over for several nights.  I tried yesterday but was freaked out then today I found the skunk hiding in the far corner and of course he sprayed his scent!  Then I cleaned part of the garage as I tried to figure out how to get him out!  Finally I gave up, moved the car out and left the garage door open.  By 2 pm the grass was dry enough to mow so I did that for 2 hours.  By the time I checked again the skunk was not hiding under the shelfing so that was good news.  I just hope he didn't find another little corner to hunker down it.  I'll be checking for sounds every night now until I know for sure he is out.

Writing all of this down gets it out of my head and my head has just been spinning for a month and a half now.  So many distractions.  So much trauma.  ICU and amputations.  Emergency landings.  Packing and unpacking suitcases.  Flying 5000 miles and driving 1500 miles. Spending $11,751 between Duke and the driveway. That's a lot for a 71 year old widow with no help.

I am tired Lord!  You left me here to shoulder this mostly alone day after day and now I am downhearted.  Lord hear my cry.  If I had an ash pit I would tear my clothes and put ashes on my head.  I try to be brave but I am not.