The Future Is Scary When You Get Old

I have been battling a terrible head and chest cold for 5 days now and am an emotional (and physical) wreck.  Nothing is getting done in my house.  I haven’t eaten a good meal in 5 days.  I am tired of coughing, wheezing, and blowing my nose.  I am whining and crying and I don’t care if I am having a pity party for me.  I hate being sick which is probably why the Good Lord has kept me healthy most of my life.

This is not so for my poor husband. He has battled Rheumatoid Arthritis for more than 40 years and it, along with all the drugs he takes, has pummeled his once hearty body.  We don’t talk much about it but I am sure it is very hard for him to remember being the basketball and football jock he was in high school and then the strong, always hardworking man he was for 35 years in a sawmill.

When both of us are not feeling well it is a sad home front.

I am 61 years old and still working.  He is 74 and has been retired for 8 years.  We have been living in our home we built, for over 25 years ago.  It is a 2200 square foot, 2 story home on 2 acres.  We both know we cannot stay here much longer.  We have no family here to help us.  The closest family lives hours away and the farthest lives a plane ride away.  We have no one here to help us so we know the time is coming when we will have to downsize.  We will have to move.

When a person lives in the same place for decades the stuff piles up.  The thought of going through everything is enough to make me sicker.  I have no idea where to start.  Which closest?  Which of the 4 bedrooms?  The garage or the detached 2 car shop?  The little barn?   Oh, heavens, I am a mess just thinking about this.

I know I have to work at my job for another 4 ½ years so I have that amount of time to get this show on the road.  That is if nothing major happens to either one of us.  If there is a major catastrophe then the plans will have to change faster than presumed.

Getting old is really a tough thing.  Not only is it a physical inconvenience but it is an emotional inconvenience.  We don’t want to burden our family.  Our children are busy, busy, busy. Our closest grandchildren are not old enough to help.  Anything we do will have to be hired out when we are no longer able to do anything for ourselves.  All we will be able to do is get dressed, eat and sleep.  The yard maintenance will need to be hired out.  The grocery shopping will need to be hired out.  Cooking might even need to be hired out.  Finances will need to be hired out.

I did find there are companies gearing up for us baby-boomers that are falling apart.  That is good news.  Help is out there if you have enough money to pay for it.  They will come in, access the situation, and tell you what they can do.  There are retirement communities that offer small homes or apartments with little to no maintenance.  For a fee you can get anything taken care of.  I wonder what the poor, old people do in a situation like this.  They have no extra money.  I should probably stop whining and feeling sorry for myself when others have far less in life and life choices.

I hope I feel better soon so I do not have to think about this daunting task that is coming up in my life in the next few years.  Today, I am a wreck, thinking about it.