Where do I start with this one? It's probably going to be one of the hardest to write. My husband of 39 years and 2 months is dying.
Last Monday I woke at 4 am to a huge crash and found Jerry collapsed as the bottom of the stairs. He was trying to get from the couch where he sleeps, to the toilet and collapsed. When I got down to him in seconds I tried to figure out what had happened and if he was breathing and if he was bleeding and if he was hearing me. Within as minute or so he said "get me to the toilet" which was very hard to do because he was 120 pounds of almost dead weight. We did get him onto the toilet and there was blood in his stool. He did not want me to call 911 so we got him back to bed but within an hour he wanted back to the toilet. It was another ordeal to get him back to the bathroom and he was complaining of extra shoulder pain in his already bad shoulder. The third toilet trip he collapsed on the living room floor and said to call 911. We needed help. The paramedics were here within 10 minutes and began to assess him and get him into the ambulance to take him to emergency. I got to emergency at 10 am and they were just starting to get IV fluids into him as he was severely dehydrated. About 11 one of the nurses did a covid test which she said was negative but an hour later the doctor informed us the test was actually positive. This meant all new protocols for the patient and his care. Of course I argued with the doctor but there was nothing I could do. He became a patient with covid. No visitors and everyone gown up, mask up, and glove up. I was not leaving though. They ended up finding in X-rays that he had broken his collarbone when he fell. His blood count was low so they gave him a pint of blood and by 3 pm had him in an ICU unit since he was covid positive even though there was no symptoms of covid. They scheduled him for an endoscopy the next day, Tuesday, if possible, because the covid was an issue as well as his frail condition and broken collarbone. I was told earlier in the day that I could spend the night with him but they kicked me out at 9:30 pm and said no. They said I could come back at 9 am and see him. I left in tears not knowing if he would make it through the night.
At 9 am I was back and was then told I could not go it his room. I threw a fit and after demanding to speak with Administration I was allowed in the room with my husband in covid gear, gown, mask and gloves. He was eating and drinking a bit. They gave him another pint of blood. I demanded they do the endoscopy and they were procrastinating and saying maybe they would do it Wednesday. Tuesday at 4 pm they found a bleeding ulcer and cauterized it. The doctor informed me his stomach was in terrible shape and there were exposed veins or arteries that could be a problem and thought the best thing would be to send him to Portland for more treatment that could help. After Jerry was alert and we could talk he determined he did not want any further treatment or to go to Portland. "I want to go home." I spent the day lining up Hospice services and a bed, supplies and equipment which was in place at home by 5 pm on Wednesday. Our son had come down from Washington on Monday to help. Our other adopted-into-the-family son was here to help also. By 10 am on Thursday Jerry was released to home Hospice care and we brought him home.
Tuesday and Wednesday Jerry had been eating and drinking some but of course he had been having IV fluids and blood put back into him. Thursday at home he ate and drank a little bit. By Friday it was less. By Saturday and Sunday it was even less. Just little bites and swallows here and there. The majority of his time was sleeping. He was getting pain medication every 4 hours for the broken bone. None of his normal rheumatoid drugs were being allowed due to the condition of his stomach.
Today is one full week and everything in life has changed. Jerry is losing ground everyday. Family and friends are trying to see him one last time. Emotions are high and exhaustion is at every turn. But the presence of God fills this home! We all wait on the Lord for his move and his time. We have no fear of where Jerry will be when he draws his last breath because we have been assured by Jesus that there is another place we go to be with Him when we are not on this earth.
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God ; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going. - John 14:1-4
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. - Revelation 21:1
See, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. - Isaiah 65:17
But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells. - 2 Peter 3:13
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