Purify My Heart

Over and over this morning the old song "Purify my heart" has been on my lips. 

 

Purify My Heart,

Let Me be as Gold and precious Silver.

Purify My Heart,

Let Me be as Gold, pure Gold.

 

Refiner’s Fire,

My Heart’s one desire

Is to be… Holy;

Set apart for You, Lord.

I choose to be… Holy;

Set apart for You, My Master,

Ready to do Your will.

 

I know the reason for this is in the past week I have not been close enough to the Master and fretting over many different things going on in the world and in my life.  I do my best but I continually fall short.  You would like after walking with Jesus for over 40 years I would be able to keep on the straight path but nope.  I fall short.  You would think that being an inch away from being 70 years old I would stay steady and keep all of my thoughts and speech filled with only goodness.  I fall short.  You would think that after experiencing in the past 5 years the removal of a tumor in my head and my husband dying I would be strong enough to show wisdom, mercy, and endurance to those around me.  I fall short.  You would think that with all of my scripture reading and seeking the Lord on a daily basis that I would have everything in place as far as being a shining example of Christian life. I fall short.

 

I get tired of falling short and then feeling like I am not good enough and I am not pure enough.  I get tired period.  I whine and cry out to the Lord asking why I can't keep on the narrow path?  I want to do better but then I do not do better.  These are the times I know I have no choice but to endure myself and my inadequacies.  I have to persevere on a daily basis to hear the Lord and to walk with him.  The cross is heavy on me some days and only because pile a bunch of cement blocks of my attitude and doubts on top of it.

 

I full well know the scriptures;

 

Matthew 11:30 (NKJV) - For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

 

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) - Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

 

Psalms 55:22 (NIV) - Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

 

Matthew 11:28 (NKJV) - Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 

I also know these scriptures;

 

Romans 3:23 (NIV) - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

 

Hebrews 12:15 (NKJV) - looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.

 

Psalm 43:5 (NKJV) - 'Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me? Hope in God: For I shall yet praise him, Who is the health of my countenance, and my God.'

 

I know that getting discouraged some days is bound to happen in this cruel world we live in.  Like I said, I am almost 70 years old and I have seen a lot of darkness and the darkness increases.  I also understand I am still standing on this earth because the Father has seen fit to keep me planted where I am.  Some days I don't see the path clearly because of the tears and my eyes are red from the sorrows.  I also know so many others are on paths that are far, far deeper and harder than my own.  Then I feel the guilt creep in for my whining and pouting. My woe is me attitude.  My words of discouragement not encouragement.  I fall short.

 

So as I move through this day with a song asking God to purify my heart I will watch and listen closely as He removes more of me, creates in me a clean heart, and removes more of the impurities from within me.  I fall short and I am still a work in progress.  I am still a cracked pot in the hands of the Potter.